| Profilo di Me, Myself & I!...Me, Myself and I!!FotoBlogElenchi |  Strumenti  Guida |
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26 aprile Someone to rely on...Have you ever had that feeling where you are surround by heaps of people but you feel all alone? It horrible. You feel smothered and lonely at the same time. You can't breathe, you can't concentrate, you can't think... its overwhelming. Feelings of helplessness, confusion, they overwhelm me. It all feels so much at once, the easy option would be to run and hide away but when did that ever work? Better to face the problems head on, sort them and deal woth them the best I can now, instead of waiting till they totally take over! I feel like I can't rely on anyone, not trully... I am there for others when they need me but when I need help or support it seems everyone ius too busy or has too many problems of their own. I don't ask for or expect much, just a little help or support when things start weighing me down. I guess it proves that you really can't rely on anyone but yourself.
At least with yourself you can't be let down or disappointed and if you are you only have yourself to blame. You can't lie or make up things to yourself, you can't play mind games with yourself... I can see the safest option! Its a shame it has come to the place where I feel I can't believe in or rely on others, it saddens me. I hope others have people close they know are always there.
05 dicembre *sobs* My computer...My laptop is not working *sobs* which due to its punishment i am not surprised! My son spilt a fizzy drink all through it, needless to say its now in the computer repair shop and its doubtful that it can be saved... silly me ignored all warning to always back up your stuff and now i may have lost all my digital photos:( Not happy at all. So I have resorted back to using the old desktop computer, its huge, old and doesn't support broadband, so to make things worst I am now using dial up again... OMG I had forgotten how slow and annoying it is! Hope to get my computer back soon! I'll keep u all posted!
20 novembre Its all too much...How do we safely express our feelings? Is there a safe way? A way were the chance of getting hurt is minimal or non exsistant. How do you get over the fear of rejection? Can you get over that fear? Is that fear the reason we play games, the reason we hide away our feelings hoping someone else will be brave enough to tell theirs first?
I don't know, I must admit I am not one for hiding away; hence the fact I have been many times hurt. Yet I still keep doing it; wearing my heart on my sleave, having my feelings and emotions on show for the world to see. Readily excessible, readily available to be crushed and torn apart and occassional recepicated. I'm not usually a person to run and hide away from things but fuck it all. Life, love, freindship, responsiblity, family, i just can't do it anymore. I don't do want to do it anymore. I just want it all to go away. 19 novembre List of thoughts...Ok, here I am going to type every thought I have running through my head. Every feeling, every smell, every little thing, no matter how random or stupid it seems! Try it, its a strange but wonderful thing... here goes!
Ready... Set... Go... dark, letters, where is that letter, mistake, music, fan blowing, cool breeze, to many thoughts to list, purple, sex, satin, yum, strawberries, wonder if ne one will read this, wonder if anyone cares, am i strange?, lol ears itchy, can't find the right keys when typing, Jakobi, snores, tv flickering, sex, lol i think about sex alot, never noticed that before, wonder what people will think, tired, gee its late/early, sick of typing, can i make my mind stop? I wonder if i could, what does it take? ice, green, park, car goes by, night, cool breeze, peaceful, quiet music , taping foot, STOP.
lol Well thats some of the things on my mind tonight, whats on yours?
Random thoughtsWhat makes us who we are? Some say its how our parents bring us up; sure ok partly, but your parents can't take all the blame or all the credit. Some say its your attitude towards yourself, others and towards life... ok again only partly; positive thinking and acting is not going to solve lifes problems. Some say its life experiences that mould us into who we are, again only partly. Maybe my point here is we are all moulded by different things and its never just one thing...
Once we are moulded and shaped we become the person we are today, how do you discover and understand that person? Is that part of societies problem; most people don't understand or know who they are, therefore being unable to understand others? Is that why relationships/marriages don't seem to last as long these days? Granted there are a few that defy the trend, but only a few. Its a sad fact. Maybe if we took the time to get to know ourselves first, we wouldn't have such a hard time getting to know others intimately.
I am on a Journey... I am discovering who I am, what I feel, what I want... and I must say I am enjoying it greatly. I feel more relaxed, I feel content when I go to sleep at night, I have hope for the future... things don't look so bad anymore. Highly advise others to go on their own Journey of Discovery... could make a bigger difference to your life than you think!
18 novembre My life...RATED!
12 novembre Frustration..."AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I am so frustrated with people. I am tired of the selfish, inconsiderate people I seem to have all around me. I am not a needy person, I am flexible and open-minded yet people seem to think I am the one being unreasonable. Both in friendships and relationship I respect that we all need our own time, we all need time with our other friends ect, but in saying that I don't what to be ignored or forgotten... no one does! I can't just let it go, maybe the person/people don't realise their doing it... so i say something about it. They bite my head off, they don't understand why I am upset or what the problem is. The problem is I sit here night after night by myself and I get lonely. I am there when others need advice or a shoulder to cry on but when i need someone, everyone runs for cover. I am tired of pretending I can cope and deal with everything myself because I can't, I am falling apart and no ones here to help pick up the pieces... 10 novembre "The Biggest Loser"The reality tv show "The Biggest Loser" is coming to Australia! Yay! For those who don't know the show I'll tell you a little about it. Its a reality show were the overweight are pushed to their limits in their quest to lose weight. There are personal trainers, teams, challenges and weekly weigh ins. Each week someone from the team with the lowest % of weight lost is voted out, and so on till you have a winner! Or "The Biggest Loser"! This person not only loses heaps of weight and changes their life but they also win a prize of $250,000!!(That was the US amount, I am unsure of the exact prize money for Australia). Now you have got the idea of the show I will get to the point of this blog, I HAVE APPLIED!! I have sent in my application (15pages), I am very hopeful I will get onto the show. I know the chances my be slim as there would be 1000's applying but I am still hopeful!
I have lost about 12kg in 10 weeks using my own strategies and attending a support/weigh in group called Take Off Weight Naturally (T.O.W.N). However I find getting motivated difficult sometimes. This show would be a great opportunity to lose weight, make friends and possibly win some $$$! As to anything there is a downside, you arn't allowed to have any contact with family or friends while away.:( While that would be hard, especially to be away from my son, however looking at the BIG picture it would all be for the best!
I'll keep you updated as soon as AND/OR if I hear anything back! Cheers! |
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